shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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