Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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