No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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