Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
