I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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