All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
