the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
