omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
