It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
