it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
