So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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