he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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