I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
