she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the day after is always just damage control
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
