It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
