I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
