Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
