Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
