I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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