It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
