The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
