high people should be assigned attendants
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
