oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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