angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
