I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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