Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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(503): View more from Oregon

You'll be proud of me

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Who did you not have sex with

(503): View more from Oregon

Damn it...you know me too well

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.

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(425): View more from Washington

you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass

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(812): View more from Indiana

These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.

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