uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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