I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
that's an acceptable place to lick
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
