i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
