Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
