I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
