We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need a shit load of segways right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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