I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
