Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the condom got lost in my hair
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
