So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
