So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
