really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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