all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
