Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
