You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
