I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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