So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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