Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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