He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
