Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
