if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just high enough for therapy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
