I cockslap morals
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
