I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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