Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
