the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
